Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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