Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
