You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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