he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Who died my cat blue again?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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