Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I need water and some morals
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
