Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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