Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
