You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
