Define "chronic" masturbator.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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