I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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