I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
