nutella sex= disaster
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
