At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
