dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
