I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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