So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
