we're blogging at a bar
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
