so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I puked a lego.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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