I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
