Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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