It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wow bdsm is so cute
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
