i think my tv is drunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
