just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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