Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
