Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
