She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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