That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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