What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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