The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize