What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
