Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
