I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
