When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's blow job season.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize