On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
