There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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