pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
