Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
