just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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