dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
