i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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