is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
