So drunk, too bad you don't want this
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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