Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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