Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize