it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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