go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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