Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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