You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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