Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
