so explain again why im purple
no
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
