I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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