He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
