Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't turn off my feet"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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