Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
