Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize