I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
