He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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