Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
