1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Apparently you make a good broom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
