I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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