I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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